Glass Half Empty

...fuck.

So, here I am in Cornwall. Tomorrow will be Craig's wedding, and the reception, and hopefully it'll be good. Tonight, I'm sat in the bride's parents' garden, with a buffet and a group of people, some of whom I've even met before. And it's alright.

But, my heart's in a field in Banbury, I can't deny it. I'm missing Maelstrom event 2 for the wedding, and I'm ok with that, and I'm missing the people I'm not with (players and characters). There's a gazebo set up here that I daren't enter, because it might throw me into the wrong brain.

Have a good event, guys. See you when you get back. I'm off to have a good time.

The glass: half empty

Currently proofing thesis, before sending it to the publishers tomorrow morning. One hundred and sixty pages of dense material that I know, but can't skim because I need to catch typographical errors that have missed other readings.

By which I mean I'm kinda paranoid that this, in a hundred years, will be the only record of my life, lodged in the dusty depths of the British Library, and that any mistakes I don't catch will be recorded unto eternity. And that future scholars that read it will point and laugh if it isn't utterly perfect in every possible way.

I'm missing one person, and have just made the conscious decision not to go to London on Wednesday to see several other lovely people because I don't really have the time.

When I'm done with this edit-pass, I need to try to finish my CV and make a creditable attempt at writing the paper I should have been writing last week, but had to back-burner due to continuing faults and failures in the project that is my immediate source of funding. More on that later. I have coffee, and an IRC connection, and some Daft Punk on the speakers, to keep me sane and processing.

Tonight, I fear that it may not be enough.

The Glass: empty

So. Nearly done.

So nearly done.

My corrections have been accepted, and the postgraduate office has received notification of this within the deadline. I'm on course to graduate in July, in the stupid hat and weirdly multicoloured robes that Sussex Sciences DPhils wear.

Now, I just have to find a bookbinder and give them a PDF they can work from, and get a hard copy in to the postgrad office by the 17th of July. Doable. That, and polishing the CV, and all the rest await, but for the first time in a long time, my todo list is shrinking faster than it's growing.

That, and a relaxing weekend that recharged reservoirs I didn't realise I'd depleted, and maybe I'm starting to get a handle on life again. Here's hoping.

The Glass: half-full

So, this weekend was supposed to be set aside for doing the last of my corrections and polishing up the thesis for handin on Tuesday, as well as getting a couple of little builds for Socks And Puppets out the way.

Then I got a phone call.

Turns out the University of Sussex Fencing Club is once again running the Brighton Open this year, a big fencing tournament that sees a wide range of skills and people from all over the country. Naturally, it includes a cafe, armoury and bake sale. Except... one of the armourers is in Finland, being trained for his new job, and the event's too big for one armourer to handle alone.

I was the club armourer for oh, going on five years: I basically kept that club's kit cupboard running with duct tape and string till we got a budget, then bought and maintained all the kit they currently use. I happen to like them. So when they called me, asked me to hop back into the saddle and get them out of a bind, of course I said yes. I need to be there at 0830 in the morning on Sunday the 8th of May to set up pistes, spin up the armoury, lay out a workshop, ...

Waitaminute.

What am I doing still up? *z*

The Glass: drained

So, Maelstrom Event 1 happened. It was good, if very, very hot. It was definitely NOT a normal event by my standards: not much bodyguarding of my boss, not much Scholaring, and a vast amount more wayward than usual. My character has been praying like a good little devotee, but his involvement in the religion game has stepped up several levels this game.

Lists of good, bad and ugly follow. Some quotes slightly tweaked by poor memory, but the sentiment remains.

The Good

• "Take your claws OFF the Lord Angel, please!"
• Having my claws trimmed IC by a friend with a bone saw.
• Camping IC, and rolling out of bed straight on to the field.
• Getting to do some proper armour repair.
• Converting someone to my faith, and performing the initiation in the dark, out in the middle of the field between two opposing armed camps.
• "Midwife passes by the back door"
• Getting one and a half prayers answered.
• The brand new church being mentioned in a vision.
• No-one died! (who matters)
• Holding a young baby in arms while wearing chainmail and having SIX INCH CLAWS, and the mother being perfectly happy with this (this was perhaps the one of the most awesome things of the event)

The Bad (IC)

• Many of the IC bars were either closed or out of drinks. IC action lead to all of it, but it was a pity - it's nice to watch the world go by from them, and there's not much point if they're not selling.
• Likewise, the Tea House we kept trying to go to was always booked whenever we chiselled enough time out of our schedules.
• Someone tried to take out a contract on one of our friends! NOT COOL (dealt with IC, naturally)

The Ugly (OC)

• Five hours of sleep a night meaning I tended to roll out of bed on to the IC field at about 1030, OC armband it to the breakfast and coffee places, then time in in kit about 1130. Hopefully it won't be such a problem again if I don't hit the event with such a sleep debt.
• The heat. Oh gods, the heat, and the dust. It was a very hot event, which made metal armour difficult and dehydration a risk, and the ground was baked so hard that I bent more tent pegs than I successfully drove. 'least it wasn't raining.
• Banbury is much less far than Derby, but still a bit of a stretch on a single driver. I was ok with it, but it was a long run, especially when sleep deprived and running on caffeine on the way back.
• Availabilty of takeaway containers meant that the field seemed to end up covered in cardboard.

It's that time of year again: I'm off to go be someone else in a field in Oxfordshire Buckinghamshire over the weekend. Since I pick up the van tomorrow morning, I suppose I should say goodbye now.

Will be off comms, to all intents and purposes, from tomorrow morning until Monday night, except to people trying to find me in said field tomorrow night. Have a good Easter, if you celebrate, otherwise enjoy the holiday.

Me? I plan to. I NEED a holiday right now, corrections are wearing me down and I've too many things people need me to do. I'll be putting them all on hold for four days, then coming back to them refreshed, I hope.

The Glass: empty

Good morning!

• Up at a sensible hour (0800?)
• Eat a proper breakfast (porridge, coffee)
• Resync with the world (blogs and news)

Workaday (0930-1745)

• Thesis corrections: minimum five items off the list
• 1200: lunch (30 mins)
• Clean up and document the data modelling classes in VA

Evening

• Bearhaus
• Bother Ebay seller about $item
• Order blankets from the Surplus?(do wednesday, to arrive Friday when they can be received)
• Hundredpushups!
• Email brother back

Several of my friends have started keeping todo lists online, for the day, for the weekend, or for whatever period is necessary. They seem to use them as a reminder that they are Succeeding At Life: that things are getting done and that they are a worthwhile person, even if they feel a bit overwhelmed by All The Things.

This seems like an excellent idea, so I'm going to try it for a bit: apologies for the blogspam this will generate.

Equally, they note that sometimes even the little things can be hard, some days. I'm aware that I'm at an extremely low ebb right now, in terms of mental capacity, so my todo list will probably seem weirdly specific or excessively detailed. This is an attempt at using mental resources when I have them (in the evening) to give structure and sense to the day when I don't.

Good Morning!

• Up at a sensible hour (0800?)
• Eat a proper breakfast (coffee, porridge)
• Rediscover the world (read blogs and news sites)

Workaday (0930-1800)

• Thesis Corrections: minimum 5 items off the list
• Answer email from AMS student
• 1200: lunch! (30 minutes)
• Clean up the data modelling classes in VA
• Handle work email

Evening all

• Eat a sensible evening meal
• Tidy up in front of workbench
• Hundredpushups
• Reply to a Maelstrom IC Letter
• Write a Maelstrom prayer
• Attempt a data representation for WitW downtimes.
• Make army-surplus order for blankets etc for Maelstrom
• Bother Ebay seller about $item
• In bed by a sensible time (2330?)

The Glass: drained