Glass Half Empty

Whenever I'm at a fencing competition, I always upgrade something. Might be something small, might not be. Last time I replaced the guard on my weapon, this time I bought the last few parts to build a complete second weapon (at competitions, each fencer should really have at least two to cover failures on piste: weapon failure without an immediate replacement is a cardable offence). The second weapon is configured slightly differently from my current main weapon - same parts, different set on the blade - so I'll see how it plays, and then probably match the configuration of one to the other later. It's a question of finding out which configuration works better, then standardising on it so I can switch weapons mid-bout without confusing myself. Anyway, on to the point of the post.

The reason I do this is complicated, and tricky to verbalise. An upgrade, a new or repaired part, sets me in a positive frame of mind: it forces me to check the weapon and accompanying kit afterward to make sure the fix has 'taken', so I know it's all to spec and working. Also, I've improved my equipment by some small amount, which sets me up nicely for the actual fencing. It occurs to me that this is not really any different from the 'nice clothes' effect - nice clothes make you feel better, readier to take on the world. When you dress up for an evening out, on average, you feel better about yourself than when you're in a grungy t-shirt and shorts, sitting about watching TV (or at least, that's my experience). So many little things, details of our daily equipment and clothing, make such a big difference to us but would never be noticed by anyone else. It's almost like they're a modern-day talisman, an item we wear to protect ourselves from the bad things in the world, or to influence fortune in our favour.

Do you have a pair of earrings given to you by your grandmother, or a lucky piece of clothing you wear to interviews? A favourite pen, perhaps, that you keep more than just because it writes well or is comfortable, but because when you use it you feel more positive about the outcome of whatever you're doing? Little things, that don't mean anything to anyone else, but which you carry around anyway because they make you feel different. Better. Ready to take on whatever you're doing, and succeed.

Maybe it's silly. Maybe you really don't have any personal talismans: I know I do, not that I tell people what they are. I don't believe they have any mystic power, if that's what you're thinking: they're just Stuff, and the memories and associations they carry with them in my mind are what matters, what makes them work. In the case of fencing kit, it's that I enjoy working on simple mechanisms, and going into a bout knowing my kit has just been stripped, cleaned and rebuilt sets my mind at ease and lets me concentrate on my opponent. The fact that I know why they work doesn't diminish that power one iota.

The Glass: half-full